Carry your own damn purse

(from the old Baguio Below - Original date: October 1, 2006)

A couple of days ago, I saw a woman and her family window shopping in Porta Vaga. The woman was carrying her several-month old baby and her husband was stuck carrying mom’s deliciously feminine bag. I started thinking about that bizarre notion that has managed to lodge itself into the minds of today’s couples: the guy bears the obligation of carrying the girl’s kikay bag.

The origins of this phenomenon are obviously rooted in chivalry. Every girl appreciates a gentleman. Women are naturally affectionate and sensitive creatures and need to be treated as such from time to time. It’s nice to have the door held open for you or have someone give up their chair so you can sit down. These small indulgences can be a welcome change from the typical modern male who spends most of his time on the couch and calls women cunts. We are grateful to the guy who carries the bags when the woman has her hands full with other things. Like the married couple I saw the other day: the man was carrying his wife’s purse because she was tasked with carrying the more precious cargo, their baby.

This doesn’t really apply to the kikay bag. There’s no practical reason to have your boyfriend tote your girly bag around town. Today’s purses are made so that they are small and convenient. You could carry it with your pinky. It’s a ridiculous sight: a guy in complete ghetto garb – baggy low-rise pants, extra-large jerseys, bling…and a pink kili-kili bag. This extreme version of chivalry is comical and a little bit insulting. I don’t know who enrages me more: the boyfriend who allows himself to be emasculated or the girlfriend who is pretending to be helpless, throwing away centuries of fighting for gender equality. It’s true that women want to be treated like princesses occasionally but we don’t want to be patronized.

Besides, a girl’s bag is her kikay kit. It contains all the things that make us pretty and smell good. Wouldn’t you rather have those things near you? If he carries it and you need something, you’ll have to say, “’Be, pwedeng paabot ng bag. Kukunin ko lang yung blah blah blah.” And there it is. You just reveal one of the sacred items in your purse. In "How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days," Matthew McConaughey says that “a woman’s purse is her secret source of power. There are many dark and dangerous things in there that we (they), the male species, should know nothing about.”

A woman’s capacity to confound a man is where she draws her power. Guys like to be kept in the dark. They like wondering why girls have such nice-smelling hair or why their lips are always so shiny. A little mystery between a boy and a girl makes things more exciting. If the guy knows what brand of perfume you use or what shade your lip gloss is, it makes things boring. Things get too close for comfort. In the movie "Sorority Boys," Michael Rosenbaum (he plays Lex Luthor on Smallville) says that he likes eating his burgers but he doesn’t want to know how the cow is killed.

So please, all you girls who mechanically give your kikay bags to your boyfriends to carry, think again. Think of the war our forebears had to fight to give us the right to vote and wear pants. Think of the power you could be losing by revealing your secret witchy magic– that is, the contents of your purse. Happy dating!